Seven.Caged.Tigers

72%Mingle²

This past weekend we visited my family in Skidway Lake for the annual Clark reunion. It was FUN and FUN and…oh wait…FUN! Zack enjoyed himself though he got very dirty. I got burned but that is definitely a part of tubing and being outside for a few days (at least for me). Zack also pooped in a pool, but he was fine with that too. He’s generally pretty happy with everything. Here are a few pics of my son and here’s a link to the whole set of pics at Flickr.

Zack and Olivia:

So.  Yeah.  We own a nice, 100 year old home in a quiet community not far from Detroit, Ann Arbor, Flint, and Lansing.  Over two years ago, this crazy bitch (I’ll get to her insanity in a moment) bought a small house that’s property butt’s up to our yard.  We have a long property, and hers is on the other side of the block.

We weren’t worried at first.  She said she was a flipper and that she intended on fixing the property up and selling.  And then the shit started to pile up.  Literally.  The front porch stunk like garbage, there was an El Camino in the front yard, there were piles of worthless shit in the back yard, she “planted” plastic flowers in the front window boxes, and she put these old oil burners around the back yard as some sort of perverse rusted planters.  Of course they aren’t “cool” in any way considering there are tires and ladders, bricks and plywood, toys and trash, Christmas decorations and even the occasional appliance piled everywhere around them.  She’s also got about 100 white five gallon buckets and thousands of the cheap black plastic quart-gallon containers plants come in.

From there she got a doberman and put it on our property line to scare off all possible robbers.  She also has a rabbit caged on the property.  There are about four to six vehicles there at all times including an old Penske truck.

Oh yeah.  Nobody lives there, and nobody has since she bought it.  The house is also apparently piled to the gills with shit.  Not literal shit, but worthless shit.  Come to find out, she peruses the obits and picks properties up for dirt cheap.  She also suckers old people into selling her their homes.  As far as I know she has half a dozen in the area and has never sold one.  In fact, one got so bad it was condemned not too long ago.  They all are in similar disarray.  This particular home has been ticketed by the township at least 3 times for various ordinance infractions.  I personally have dug through every last local ordinance and am more than happy to report her.  I also had animal control come and pick up the dog last year.  He had pulled his run free of the tree and since nobody showed up until he’d been tangled in our yard for all night and all morning he got taken away.  He returned a while later–or at least a doberman did whether or not it was the same one.

She also tells everybody she’s a genius and that her daughter is a genius (her words not mine) and has this insane fluff of bleach blonde hair on her head.  She’s one crazy frickin’ bitch.  She’s also clearly a hoarder of epic proportions.

Well…looks like she has suckered the neighbor next to this property into selling her his home.  I’ve seen her checking out the property lines and talking to various people.  She does it all on the down low–land contract.  This neighbor’s property is also long and borders the back of my yard.  Looks like I can look forward to the crazy cow having shit piled up on two sides of my yard.  I’m sorry, but seriously…it’s to the point of ridiculousness.  The township knows her by first, last, and middle name since they are the ones that helped condemn the one property.  She, of course, lives in none of her “flip” homes.  She apparently resides in some manse on Lake Fenton north of my town.  A junky manse is my bet.

In any case, what would you do?  I mean, we already are going to have to put up a privacy fence to block off the eyesore, but anything else?  With the dog we’ve taken to giving it treats so it doesn’t growl at us or our 13 month old.  It has (fortunately) stopped barking all night and no longer barks when we flush the toilet.  I did have pictures of the property but I can’t find them now–they probably went away with a hard drive crash.  I have no issues with making her life hard.  Heck, when we put the fence up I don’t intend on leaving extra space so she can walk across my yard between properties.  She’s going to have to drag her fat, polyestered ass through some other direction.

Yeah.  Frustrated.  Apologies for yelping so loudly, I’m just at wit’s end.  Our yard is immaculate and we like it that way.

I can’t believe how quickly summer has happened in Michigan.  This week we are supposed to have the mid 80s ever day.  It’s not even that humid which makes the break in weather really decent.  I’ve been spending much of my time going for walks with Zack (he loves them) and working in the garden.  I’m enjoying the sunshine.  It’s also been really nice that Zack is starting to get a kick out of most everything.  He’s developed a fierce sense of humor (he never used to laugh at anything) and is frequently giggling at things out of the ordinary.  He got a kick out of Jeremy juggling the other day.

All is pretty much kosher in my household.  We are perpetually disorganized but that is nothing new.  We are also working on getting our stuff for the complete bathroom remodel purchased.  We’ve decided that the tile and cabinets will all be white.  I’m thinking of painting the walls a medium to dark grey-blue color that will contrast nicely with the bright white.  It’s a different kind of color but I can’t go with something really modern or flashy considering the vaguely retro feel of the room and the age of our home (100+ years).  We’re having some trouble agreeing, but I know it will be perfect in the end. Our tile, by the way, is going to be four feet up on the walls and is a glossy white 4″ ceramic.

Anyway, that’s what we’re up to.  And oh yeah–Zack took his very first steps on Saturday morning.  He’s not repeated his triumph many times, but he’s getting there.  The little guy is growing up!

…suprise!