Seven.Caged.Tigers

Who knew you could not eat for 48 hours and still be relatively okay. I guess that’s the kind of thing you find out when you’re stuck in the hospital for three nights…

That’s right. I was released from the U of M hospital after two nights in high risk LDR and a night in a lower risk area. Basically I was admitted because of my blood pressure, extreme swelling, and borderline labs. As it turns out I’m actually pretty okay save for the fact that I’m stuck on bed rest until the little guy enters the world. I still think it will be another two weeks but I know for a fact it won’t be any more than 3.5 weeks. I can’t wait. This pregnancy hasn’t exactly been rainbows and kittens for me.

In any case, I’m bored. My life now revolves around whatever crap is at my bedside. Boy is this fun.

Still no baby so it’s time to update about my favorite TV show–reality or otherwise. ANTM 6 is still going strong. Prior to last week there were a total of seven remaining girls. I have zero clue who is going to win, but no doubt one of them is America’s Next Top Model. That person? I highly doubt it is Jade and I seriously reject the notion that it could be Sara. Somebody else (not yet mentioned) was kicked off so that leaves just four options–Joanie, Danielle, Furonda, or Nnenna. My bet? Joanie. I could be completely off base with that though.

In any case, there were two “shoots” this week. One was of the girls as various life-sized dolls (hey, didn’t Tyra make a movie about that topic?) while the other was a black and white session featuring the girls crying. Here are a few of the most interesting results.

Joanie: Who looks outstanding…

Nnenna: Who looks bored and plain…

Jade: Who looks like a transvestite…

Brooke: Who got kicked off…

Furonda: Who looks gorgeous…

Nnenna: Who is clearly in pain…

Jade: Who still looks like a transvestite…

I just wanted to share a photo (or two) of the nursery. I think it turned out perfectly. Everything looks great–not too “baby” and not too “boy.” Just generally cute. Let me know what you think.

Another lovely photo taken in a moment when my belly wasn’t in the way. I want to get a good one of a purple hyacinth from the proper angle though–that presents quite a challenge!

Speaking of “Spring,” things are getting more interesting with my pregnancy. I officially have pre-eclampsia. I’ve been told by two doctors that they want to get me through the next week at the very least. I’m 33 weeks today and the little guy weighs around 5.5lbs right now. From there the OB would just be happy with each additional day. He says he figures I’ll go in for a NST (non-stress test on the baby) and they’ll “pull the plug.” Lovely, eh? So at the very most I have 5 weeks. I figure it’s closer to 3. THREE WEEKS!!!!!

I’m trying to get flower pics, but my belly keeps getting in my way. Please excuse the mess

Oh. My. God. I am so swollen it’s not even funny. I’ll be 33 weeks on Thursday and, well, I’m to a point that I can’t wait for this thing to be over. I know, I know “swelling is normal” but let my qualify the LEVEL of swelling I’ve got going on. First of all, it’s been happening for like 3.5 months. No joke. The combo reason for my issues is high blood pressure (chronic because of the MIA kidney) and missing lymph nodes in my left hip (from cancer/treatment). Fluid pools to a point in my legs, ankles, and feet that at first they hurt horribly. After they are done hurting they go numb. I waddle like a big fat preggo lady, not because of the baby in front of my but because of the clubs attached to my cankles.

The doctor said last week that I won’t go beyond 38 weeks. If I get to that point he is inducing. My blood pressure is so crappy that he expects it to go “to shit” prior to then though. Plus, I have diabetes now which creates big ol’ babies. That’s not to mention the fact that my family creates big babies anyway. I suspect my son is around 5lbs at least right now. He’s a big healthy guy who is doing all the right things developmentally according to the ultrasounds. I’m betting I have a baby around 36 weeks. So at most, I have 5.5 weeks to go and at least (I think) 3.5 weeks. We’ll see though.

I can’t wait to meet him.

You know it’s that time of week again–the time to discuss my favorite guilty pleasure, America’s Next Top Model (Cycle 6)! This week the ranks were down to a mere eight gals. I can’t say I’ve been really surprised at the order in which they’ve bit the dust as of recently. Last week, they did a Cover Girl commercial. Jade finally got reamed for her bad attitude, but it was Mollie Sue with her shrugging and blandness that got kicked off. Oh well–Jade’s just not going to win. They keep on referring to her looking like a transvestite–plus, she’s “old” at 26 years.

There wasn’t a photo shoot last week, but this week the remaining eight girls were taught to move, twirt, and “crump.” I honestly didn’t have any idea what “crumping” was prior to the show, but now I’m much more educated. It’s some sort of super crazy, super kinetic hip hop dancing. In any case, I had no idea who would excel and who would look like a complete freak. In all, it was a colorful shoot. Most of the girls did well, but one or two failed pretty miserably.

As for the failures…

Nnenna: Who looks like a plastic mannequin

Sara: Who doesn’t have any idea how to control her body

As for the successes…

Brooke: Looking like a ghetto princess

Joanie: Who is the only one who actually looked like she was having fun

And for the eliminated…

Leslie: Who is pretty but has “duck butt” according to the judges

By the way, if you’re wondering what “duck butt” is…basically, Leslie sticks her tiny little bum out when she walks. It comes across as something of a weird waddle. Plus, I think she was kind of boring in the end and lacked personality. Oh well. She wasn’t going to win anyway. Now, if only the elderly transvestite would get kicked aside.

New pregnant picture–for those of you who like seeing a big fat preggo woman. I’m 32 weeks as of tomorrow and all is well with the little (big?) guy. I had an ultrasound yesterday that ranked his movement and the like–he got a perfect score. Who’d have thought my son would get anything less?! I got to see him sticking his tongue in and out, kicking around, and “practice breathing.” It was very, very cool. I don’t know how much ahead he is still measuring but I’m betting he’s around 5lbs now. Crazy that. So without further ado here are a few more pics:

Oh. My. God. My cat officially weighs 24lbs. To put that in perspective I have another cat who is just 1/3 that size. Seriously, Dewey is a monster. All he does is eat, sleep, and shit occasionally. Fortunately he’s also incredibly lovable. There isn’t a nicer cat anywhere–and I’m not in the least bit biased.

As to his laziness, we got our new leather furniture. He has “adopted” the recliner. He’ll jump up there and flop down with a thud. He sleeps with his head propped up on the arm rest. It’s a classic Dewey fat ass behavior. I suppose we should get him on an exercise routine. He’s already on a “diet” but because of Sara’s trouble eating (she doesn’t have many teeth) and Max’s dominant issues the only thing we’ve thought of doing is leaving his diet hairball relief Iams out all the time. I think he eats like 3-4lbs of food a week.

By the way, prior to actually weighing him I estimated his weight to be 23lbs at the top end. I’m almost embarassed to admit I undershot that by an entire pound. Even worse? He’s a very, very short and very, very stubby cat. I honestly figured he couldn’t gain any more weight once he hit 20-21lbs. I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

The proof (as they say) is in the pudding:

And for a sweet little kitten picture…

Before this evening’s ANTM episode, I do have to update a little. See there are more and more people being kicked to the curb. I keep on forgetting to mention that Kari bit the dust after the falling fairy tales shoot. I overall thought the pics were weak, but it was determined that hers was weakest:

Kari - Kicked Off

Jade - The “Bitch” but also the “Best”

Last week the challenge was once again about becoming a character. This time instead of little red riding hood or snow white the character was an occupation. Each of the gals mentioned something they would be if modelling didn’t work out. It was a kitschy and cool shoot. Here are the results worth mentioning.

Brooke - Looking Very Much Like the Naughty Nurse

Joanie - Housewife Gone Bad (But Looking Hot)

Sara- Blow Up Doll…or something

Furonda - Fighting off the Media

Gina - Clothing Designer Who Finally Got the Boot

So that’s about it. Yes, I am addicted. Yes, I love the show. No, I don’t expect you to.

Jeremy (the “man,” the “husband”) is more than a little ADD. He was never diagnosed, but not for a lack of trying. Rather it was a lack of decent tests. Basically they sat him down with a bubble test (scantron, whatever) and said to finish it. He got half way through and put his pencil down. When the person conducting the test asked if he was done, he said “yes, I’m done.” Because he couldn’t finish he couldn’t be diagnosed and he didn’t get the extra help he needed. Yes, I know he has his Master’s degree but that’s through MUCH work.

And then I heard about this study from the University of Michigan:
Really Applicable Study

Basically the jist of it is that big fat tonsils may be related to ADHD. I’m not sure about the “H” in that equation but I fascinated by the ADD parts. See, Jeremy still has his tonsils. Not just that, but they are big and fat according to doctors. Could it be true? Could researchers have figured out why he is so spastic, distracted, and generally difficult to get to (yes, even moreso than a “usual man”)? The world may never know.

But color ME amused!

Don’t know what this means (written in broken English, methinks), but I found it vaguely entertaining…

You Are 39% American

America: You don’t love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn’t mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you’ll fly a freak flag instead… And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!