Seven.Caged.Tigers

Sometimes I wonder how an individual can just ooze ignorance so freely as a self-important “artiste.” I’ve been contacted in the past by rabid fans of bad bands. They’ve hurled half-assed death threats and the like. But in all honesty, I’ve never ever gotten contacted by the lead singer in a band.

Well, that all changed yesterday with the asshole-of-the-year John Speck (current of The Fags). I wrote a review a while back of his former band, Hoarse, and their only LP Happens Twice. It wasn’t a nice one, and it shouldn’t have been. The album is, was, and will always be horrid. Anyway, he took offense to my words. I guess that means that they are plenty powerful, and if nothing else that pleases me greatly.

First he admits the album sucks–of course not the fault of the band but rather the record company. Then he criticized me, testing my music knowledge and pulling out the big guns with his 25 years of guitar prowess. Yeah whatever. Then he questions my qualifications. Basically, he says that people that don’t play music don’t have the right to write about it. Finally, he threatens me…wanting to confront me in person at a show of his new band ‘The Fags.’ What a jerk.

I also sent this to my sister who quickly pointed out that many of the most famous music reviewers ever were incapable of playing so much as a tune on any instrument. She also pointed out that to appreciate and have an ear for music is a very different thing than to play it. And playing music doesn’t automatically mean that you are good at it. Same thing goes for writing it.

Oh, and her boyfriend Robin is a pretty seasoned music journalist in the UK and he said The Fags are a bad rip-off of the “The” band mini-genre. Go figure. Another carbon copy. Bad, bad, Mr. Speck. So without further ado, I present to you first the review that stirred up the controversy and then the letter itself.

Happens Twice? Not For Hoarse!

Hopefully, this won’t offend anybody. If it does, well, then I still don’t care. I come from a land o’ white trash. Not now, but as a kid that’s what I lived in and around. There was no escaping it. Fashion took a good three years to even reach my hometown, and when it did it was usually accessorized with the cheapest, tackiest belts, hats, and the like. Not to mention the fact that the hairstyles were horrendous. Maybe some day I’ll dig out my yearbooks and prove it to ya’ll. Even my hair was bad (for those wondering why I hadn’t mentioned that fact yet). Anyway, I’ve been to my fair share of po-dunk weddings. I’ve heard of some INCREDIBLY tacky ones also (not just inexpensive, but with plastic flowers because the bride LIKED them–not because of price).

Anyway, I came across this article at The Smoking Gun. Basically it’s the trashiest bride I’ve ever seen in my life. Just check out the picture if you don’t believe me.

Anyway, the story is MUCH better than a mere picture. You’ll have to read it to believe it. Needless to say, I was rightly entertained. Not to judge or anything. Yeah right.

A mouse invaded my desk at work, and in a vain effort to keep my spirits up I’ve decided to take a few quizzes. I know. How trite. Well, if that’s what you think then you can just bite me (can you tell how happy I am?).

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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Barbie Got Back! Go you! You’re the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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You are Professor X!

You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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I’m such a sucker for a great pair of boots. Basically, I told JT I was going to the mall to get a skirt (which I got) and a pair of white sandals (which I got). But like in that DSW commercial, I saw the perfect boots from across the room. I carefully crept up on them, and whammo! They were mine! Seriously, these things are gorgeous. Beautiful black leather, nearly knee-high and exceptionally classy boots. I wanted them, and the price was as right as it ever was going to be.

Like I said, I’m a sucker. Honestly, I think I have upwards of fifty pairs. I’ve never counted them, but I know they are strewn about the house and reside in various closets, beneath the bed, and on the front porch. Funny thing is that I just got rid of probably 15 pairs, and I still have an obnoxious amount. And it’s not like I’m stylish either…I just really like shoes. And I’m not hard on them. And I’ve worn the same size since 7th grade (not that any of those shoes are left in my closet).

So yeah. I spent more money than I promise…but it is all worth it having my toesies caressed lovingly by these gorgeous black kickers

I do not live in tornado alley, but apparently mother nature doesn’t always agree with that usual belief. My small town has had in the two and a half years I’ve lived there a number of tornadoes, many of which have done some pretty major damage (fortunately not to my house).

Anyway, last night there was another tornado warning. I say another because it happens a good four or so times a summer. The sirens wailed for at least an hour and the lightning flashed for probably three. It was an incredible storm. I did get a bit jumpy after a while and managed to stuff the cats into the basement. But what really freaked me out was when my MIL and my hubby’s best friend’s mother both called to ask if I was already in the basement. I wasn’t watching television, so I didn’t know exactly what was going on so I’d yet to head down.

Needless to say, I spent some time down there waiting for it to pass. And it did, without damaging my home or area at all. Although I do know that there was a touchdown directly west of home, so we are VERY lucky. One of these days that luck will run out…

Anyway, PROOF: Tornado Story.

Hopefully soon the big changeover to Movable Type will occur. JT has officially installed it at his site, but not here yet. I can’t wait. Really, and now that I think I’ve figured out the language itself things should prove significantly easier. We’ll see though…I just can’t stand this Blogger stuff. Fortunately Blogger has improved quite a bit since the mess that happened immediately upon the great Google takeover.

I also can’t wait for the next two weekends. For once I don’t have a damn thing planned. It seems that all summer I have things going on. A wedding here, a reunion there, a vacation way over there. But not for the next two weekends. September on the other hand is an entirely different situation. I’ve got two weddings and a party that’s been dubbed “Johnapalooza” by the host himself. We’ll see…

One of the weddings is close enough, in Lansing and is for a relative. It should be a nice time, but poor JT won’t know anybody aside from my direct aunts and uncles. The other wedding is faaarrrr away. Munising in the UP to be exact. It’s the wedding of one of JT’s college neighbors. It should be a blast as all of our college friends will probably be there. We should probably get on the ball and call somebody to see if they want to carpool. It’s a long ways to get way up there…

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Life is back to “normal” now that power has been restored. Of course the net has yet to work properly at home, so for now I just have to be content with lost packets and something less stable than a dial-up connection. But I’m patient. At least for a bit…if this crap contines for another few days I’m just going to have to take out my bag of whoop ass and deliver it to Comcast. Or something less threatening…see, I’m a rather non-violent person so the bag of whoop ass would probably turn into tears or begging or something worse and probably more embarrassing.

I spent way too much money yesterday. We’re talking $300 or so. Why, you ask? Well, I’ve hated the curtains and window treatments in my living room since we moved into the house. They were these goofy batting and fabric layered cardboard cutout things. Really, very ugly and not at all practical and impossible to reposition much less clean. So I got it in my mind to go get curtains. And I did…dark blue just like JT likes…but with almost invisible flowers so as to make my room at least the tiniest bit girly. I also bought curtain rods for all the windows and one for my bedroom to support the Nautica valance I had yet to hang. Really, I have no excuses now.

So here’s the new curtains:

I can’t find an image of the rods for them, but suffice it to say that they are cool. Of course they are…I picked them out all by myself. But I could find the rod I bought for the bedroom. It too is perfect:

So I’ve spent today recovering from 28 hours without power–and resting. Sleeping was incredibly uncomfortable. JT and I spent the night on the living room floor (I soon moved to the couch, and the floor was too hard) listening to the droning and pulsating generator the guy across the street was running. In metro Detroit, it was pretty much chaos. There were runs on water, gasoline, generators, and the like. JT and I pretty much just sat back, waiting for the power to be switched back on. Of course, my little burg was among the final returned to normal.

But I’m fine, and aside from the loss of the contents of our fridge and deep freeze all is well. We didn’t have much meat in there, so the value was probably only $300 or so. It could have been worse. My next door neighbor apparently had a newly killed and butchered wild boar in his freezer. He was pretty freaked out.

The power outage did allot for an extra day off of work. I guess I’m grateful for the bonus day, but my webserver is still down. I’m not in any hurry to get it back up…in fact, it will take until Monday morning before I fix that littel situation. Oh well. Life will go on.

In honor of my sister, I give you Jude Law. The man, the legend, the whore…

Also, in honor of my sister I will say no more. But I do indeed thank you for your news, information, insider junk. You rock, and it made me laugh. Especially the stuff about the bicycle. That was new terminology to me.

Anyway, all is well in Michigan. The weather is a bit oppressive (humid, hot, etc…), but such is the way with the Great Lakes State in August. I say Europe can have their weather back. I don’t want anything to do with it… It was so hot in fact that last night I took a shower to cool off BEFORE I went to bed. I think it got hotter as the night went on. The compressor on the Air Conditioning unit in our bedroom probably didn’t shut off all night. Blech. Ick. Nasty. Sweat dripping down my neck and back. Boy do I love Michigan.

My sister sucks. Really she does. She up and moves to England, meets a load of rock stars and lives in an incredibly cool area with two cool rats and a good guy. Not just that, her walls are red. I want a red room. Desperately. And then I find out she’s going to Venice. Not as in the beach, but as in the city in Italy. I guess it’s her boyfriend’s favorite place. I’m so incredibly jealous. And then she e-mail me a picture just to rub her coolness in my face. What a sister she is…really… (J/K Cheryl, you know what I mean):

Anyway, all is well in work world. I’ve spent the entire morning updating all of the computer. It’s been a nasty task as it seems nobody felt it necessary to do any updating at all. And when I say all morning, I mean this is the first time I’ve really had to even sit down at my desk. It’s not been fun. But at least I’m earning my salary…I guess.

Today is work day. I’m not much for giving up vacation for employment, but I’ll just have to live with the situation. For now, the office is still very quiet. But in another month it will be chaos with a whole new batch of freshman. Oh joy. Little girls trying way the heck too hard to be “cute” and coming off as high-maintenance princesses. At least it’s good for a laugh if nothing else. I’ll also be busy giving workshops and the like…it’s hard to believe I’ve already entered my third year of employment at the University. It seems like just yesterday I was so very excited to get a real job.

Speaking of jobs, I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life. My father think’s I’ve gone bonkers while my mother (always the optomist) likes the idea. I want to be a High School government teacher. I’ve got a Political Science BS with a minor in Sociology. Both apply perfectly to a Michigan Teacher’s License. I guess what I’ll do is go back to school after JT and I finally have children. I really can’t wait. I love college. I guess that’s why I work at one and why the idea of teaching at a school doesn’t sound so bad.

Does that makes me insane? Quite possibly. But considering I’ve spent the last long while trying to figure out what I could do with my life that is a) creative and b) rewarding, I’m pleased to have a goal in mind. Mrs. Towne. Doesn’t that just sound brilliant?

Back from the dead–err, the wilds of Georgian Bay. My week in the wilderness passed without much excitement. Of course, there was some electricity, but no indoor plumbing (aside from the kitchen), no phone, and certainly no internet access. Really, I felt naked without the ‘net. Yes, I suppose I should admit to myself and the world that I am indeed an addict. So what? Your point is what?

Anyway, when JT and I arrived home the first thing I noticed was that there was a wire hanging down across our driveway. It turns out that the line is for the cable–and since all we have hooked up to it is cable modem, we completely lacked internet access. So I had to wait until this afternoon to check my approximately 7,000 messages. Nothing earth-shattering, but still…I wish I could have done it earlier and not in an coffee house.

Comcast is supposed to be fixing it tomorrow evening. I’m counting the seconds. Really I am…