Seven.Caged.Tigers

I was so going to write off ANTM if Melrose won.  I really was.  But she didn’t so all is right in the world.  All hail the reigning ANTM champion CariDee English!!

Woot!

In either case it’s good for a Wednesday night’s worth of entertainment. Last week ANTM was full of more catty strife, more backstabbing, more bitching, and more photos. I’m convinced it’s not so much a modelling show as it is a “reality” show. I totally enjoy it. Every moment of ANTM is an excellent moment. It’s like bubblegum, but on TV.

This week’s shoot dealt with circus freaks. Each girl had a different persona. There was the bird woman, the bearded lady, rubber girl, the cannibal, siamese twins, and a variety of others. Some were better than others. Some were more contrived than others. Regardless it turned out pretty well. I actually like the slight sepia tone to the pics.

My favorite was CariDee who literally straddled a car.

I also liked the Siamese Twins, though Amanda and Michelle must be pissed they didn’t get their own characters.

Finally, there is the elimated. Megg so did not rock the camera with her bearded lady.

I think the next girls on the chopping block will probably be Jaeda and Eugena and possible Brooke. They are probably the weakest of the competitors left.

So I liked last week’s ANTM, but hated the photos. They were action shots. The girls were strutting on a floating runway when they were photographed. The outfits were nice, the concept was bad. I’ll let the cat out of the bag and say that Monique was eliminated. Basically her past photos sucked and she didn’t show up sick for the shoot. Didn’t she learn from past winners Adrienne and Danielle who both tore drips out of their arms and showed up? Come on…logic would dictate…

Here are a few decent picture. I’m not saying good or great. Just okay.

AJ - HOT!

Brooke - Okay

CariDee - Winking

ANTM time–again! Last week saw the dreaded (dreadful? daring? dippy?) makeovers. This is always one of my favorite episodes of any season. Basically the girls are held down and stripped of what they once considered to be “cool.” Most of the girls took it in stride but AJ, Melrose, Monique, and…uh…somebody else complained. No big huge meltdowns ala Cassandra but it was still good entertainment.

Even better entertainment was Monique’s major pouting episode…and the girls’ retaliation against it. Anchal was the one who finally really got fired up but it didn’t do any good. Monique, the self proclaimed princess/diva, remained on the phone listening to dialtone for 3.5 hours rather than being a human being. She’s definitely good for the show for creating friction. She’ll be around for a little while longer. Unfortunately her photos aren’t that strong at all.

The photoshoot was outstanding too. They were beauty shots. Basically they had crazy folks who specialize in crazy moving and colorful weaves work their magic on the remaining models. The results were mostly cool, sometimes awful, and every now and again amazing. Here are a few of the notable photos.

Michelle - Love the Color, Love the Pose:

Melrose - Again Love the Colors and the Pose

Amanda - Very, Very Lovely

Anchal - Gack, She Looks Like a Dog of Some Variety

Eugena - Looks as if She Flunked Modelling 101

Megan - Regretfully got kicked off but Looks Like an Ewok

This season’s America’s Next Top Model is now well underway. The first episode was aired last week. I usually do my rundowns prior to that episode but I’m only getting around to it now. There are thirteen new chicks in the house. There will be the usual drama, the usual backstories, and the usual mayhem. It’s bound to be a great time.

Before I talk about the first episode I want to go over the girls a little. Here goes nothing.

	A.J. A “rocker chick” if I’ve ever seen one. She’s got that short, spiky black hair on her side. She’s also gorgeous. Unfortunately for UPN, they haven’t released the girls’ height. I’m thinking she’s one of the shorter girls this season, but that means very little in a field where there are girls who are 6′1″. I like her–her face will take her far.
	AmandaOne of the twins, she’s tall and quirky looking. She and her sister both remind me of Shandi (Season 3) though maybe slightly more balanced and graceful. I think she could surprise us this season if the stars align in a certain way. That said, I think Michelle is the more striking twin.
	AnchalEvery year, fans seem to fixate on one face. This year it is Anchal. I honestly don’t think she is that gorgeous. She actually scares me a bit. Plus, I think (at least according to pre-show photos) she is a little chubby in “top model” terms to be among the top few faces. Time will tell, but she’s definitely not my choice.
	BrookeLooking for that all-American look? This young model could be your bag. She’s blonde, she’s cute, and she’s apparently amiable. None of this matters, of course, if she can’t take a good photo. I think she is pretty, but of course being a looker is of no real bearing on a game when all your competition are also lookers.
	CariDeeWow does this one look like runner-up Shannon from Season 1. She’s almost certainly not as Christian as her predecesor so she won’t be around for much drama. She is however the one suffering from a horrible skin disease. Psoriasis. That was my attempt at sarcasm. Truth be told, until they get a girl with a real disease on the show (like, oh, cancer–and still bald from chemo) will I even consider somebody vaguely sick. Oh well. At least she is pretty.
	ChristianSpeaking of pretty, Christian is probably the most traditionally gorgeous. Her features are delicate and her overall appearance is sweet. Will this carry her through to the finals? I seriously doubt it. Pretty, as I mentioned above, is never enough.
	EugenaI don’t think I’ve ever called a girl ugly in one of these pre-show rundowns, but Eugena is seriously fugly. She does’t have a neck, is plain, and has horribly horrible helmet hair. I can understand why she was chosen and her body is fine enough but seriously ANTM, can’t you do better than this?
	JaedaOnce upon a time we had Coryn (Season 5) who had serious drag characteristics. This season we have Jaeda. She’s supposed to be tall (like 6′1″) and appears to be physically fit for modelling. Unfortunately her face leaves something to be desired. It’s like she’s a wax sculpture. Bah. I can’t even look at her any more.
	MeganI like Megan. I like her cherubic face. I like her pout. I like her skin. I generally adore the way she looks. This one could definitely go far in the competition. Unfortunately, she was chosen in part for her drama. She was in a plane accident and survived because her mother died on top of her. Sounds like a soap opera, eh? Good thing she can back her story up with smashingly gorgeous good looks.
	Megg“Rock n’ Roll!!!!!” Errrr. Not. She has a weird hook nose (you can’t see it in these photos, but when she smiles or screams it is totally there). She is also waaaaay thin. Tyra makes a point of saying that her girls aren’t the usual standard for top models. They are slightly meatier. Megg is a stick figure. An average looking one at that.
	MelroseHer real name is Melissa Rose. She goes by Melrose because she doesn’t have time for all that other crap. How very trite. She’s also 23 years old and looks every bit that age. Obviously she’s spent some time in the sun. She is pretty and stuff but she looks more like a trade show model than a top model in my opinion. I suspect she’ll last until about mid-season despite her flaws. Plus, she’s trying to be a mom in the house which always makes for good drama. Ty-ty likes drama.
	MichelleThe other twin. I actually think she’s the prettier twin, but it’s hard to say since they are indeed identical. Time will tell who has the real skills, but something about her physicality and grace is more alluring than her more girly sister. I’m curious to see how this whole twin thing plays out this season.
	Monique“The bitch.” Every house has to have one. This one is probably right up there with Robyn (or Robin, Robynne, etc.). She is definitely gorgeous and looks like a lady, but I think she photographs somewhat plainly. There’s something to be said for being quirky.

So that’s the rundown. Like I said, the first episode aired. We saw the semi-finalists who were flown to L.A. for evaluation. The girls got off the plane and were immediately photographed. Then they were further whittled down and photographed again.

The second set of pictures was pretty controversial. Tyra and co. asked the girls to strip and be photographed. I guess she was trying to eliminate the problems of other seasons (like when Shannon refused to get nekkid, etc.). It worked. This one chickie (a young, former republican page) refused to strip. When she finally did they only got two shots. Ginger was obviously eliminated. Tyra doesn’t stand for insubordination. The finalists moved into the house (which is, this season, adorned with countless images of their mentor). They had a challenge that Melrose won. We learned more about the girls and then they were off to their first real photo shoot–all about model stereotypes. We had the diva, the girl with her lap dog, the anorexic, the casting couch, the bulimic, the cell phone thrower, the black girl they were trying to make white, the narcissist and many others. It was interesting enough. I liked how a few photos were actually disturbing–does that mean this season will be edgy? Who knows.

Here are a few of my favorites, least favorite, and the elimated:

AJ - On the “Casting Couch”

Michelle - The Bulimic

Eugena - AWFUL photo

Christian - The Elimated Girl

I can’t wait for next week!

Still no baby so it’s time to update about my favorite TV show–reality or otherwise. ANTM 6 is still going strong. Prior to last week there were a total of seven remaining girls. I have zero clue who is going to win, but no doubt one of them is America’s Next Top Model. That person? I highly doubt it is Jade and I seriously reject the notion that it could be Sara. Somebody else (not yet mentioned) was kicked off so that leaves just four options–Joanie, Danielle, Furonda, or Nnenna. My bet? Joanie. I could be completely off base with that though.

In any case, there were two “shoots” this week. One was of the girls as various life-sized dolls (hey, didn’t Tyra make a movie about that topic?) while the other was a black and white session featuring the girls crying. Here are a few of the most interesting results.

Joanie: Who looks outstanding…

Nnenna: Who looks bored and plain…

Jade: Who looks like a transvestite…

Brooke: Who got kicked off…

Furonda: Who looks gorgeous…

Nnenna: Who is clearly in pain…

Jade: Who still looks like a transvestite…

You know it’s that time of week again–the time to discuss my favorite guilty pleasure, America’s Next Top Model (Cycle 6)! This week the ranks were down to a mere eight gals. I can’t say I’ve been really surprised at the order in which they’ve bit the dust as of recently. Last week, they did a Cover Girl commercial. Jade finally got reamed for her bad attitude, but it was Mollie Sue with her shrugging and blandness that got kicked off. Oh well–Jade’s just not going to win. They keep on referring to her looking like a transvestite–plus, she’s “old” at 26 years.

There wasn’t a photo shoot last week, but this week the remaining eight girls were taught to move, twirt, and “crump.” I honestly didn’t have any idea what “crumping” was prior to the show, but now I’m much more educated. It’s some sort of super crazy, super kinetic hip hop dancing. In any case, I had no idea who would excel and who would look like a complete freak. In all, it was a colorful shoot. Most of the girls did well, but one or two failed pretty miserably.

As for the failures…

Nnenna: Who looks like a plastic mannequin

Sara: Who doesn’t have any idea how to control her body

As for the successes…

Brooke: Looking like a ghetto princess

Joanie: Who is the only one who actually looked like she was having fun

And for the eliminated…

Leslie: Who is pretty but has “duck butt” according to the judges

By the way, if you’re wondering what “duck butt” is…basically, Leslie sticks her tiny little bum out when she walks. It comes across as something of a weird waddle. Plus, I think she was kind of boring in the end and lacked personality. Oh well. She wasn’t going to win anyway. Now, if only the elderly transvestite would get kicked aside.

Before this evening’s ANTM episode, I do have to update a little. See there are more and more people being kicked to the curb. I keep on forgetting to mention that Kari bit the dust after the falling fairy tales shoot. I overall thought the pics were weak, but it was determined that hers was weakest:

Kari - Kicked Off

Jade - The “Bitch” but also the “Best”

Last week the challenge was once again about becoming a character. This time instead of little red riding hood or snow white the character was an occupation. Each of the gals mentioned something they would be if modelling didn’t work out. It was a kitschy and cool shoot. Here are the results worth mentioning.

Brooke - Looking Very Much Like the Naughty Nurse

Joanie - Housewife Gone Bad (But Looking Hot)

Sara- Blow Up Doll…or something

Furonda - Fighting off the Media

Gina - Clothing Designer Who Finally Got the Boot

So that’s about it. Yes, I am addicted. Yes, I love the show. No, I don’t expect you to.

I hate to say “I told you so,” but I told you so. Melissa got knocked from American Idol. I was a little shocked at who joined her in the bottom three but the outcome was correct. Now, if only next week we can rid ourselves of Kevin Covais or Kelly Pickler. I’m still terrified that America loves BOTH of them. As Simon said, Kevin has the over-80 crowd under his thumb. Cough-cough.

America’s Next Top Model also went without any real shocks. That said, I have begun to develop some major opinions about the girls. First of all, Jade is a raging bitch. Seriously–she needs some sense knocked into her head. Secondly, Sara is gorgeous but I think she’s prone to drama. I mean, COME ON! It’s just hair. Deal. I have also begun to choose some favorites. Right now (and this is VERY tentative) they are Brooke, Nnenna, and possibly Danielle but we’ll have to see. So without any further ado, here are a few photo highlights from Wednesday’s episode. First, a few makeovers:

Sara, Who Compained About Her Hair:

Jade, Who Compained About EVERYTHING:

Nnenna, who in Tyra’s own words looks Fierce:

Now for a few of the “magazine” ice princess shoots. I actually hate when they add all the crap to the photos like this. They did it back in season two and it sucked then just as it sucks now. Oh well.

Kari, Who Looks Like a Superstar:

Leslie, Who Looks Like She Belongs in Maxim:

Wendy, Who Waved Goodbye:

So yeah. That’s it. I can’t wait until next week.

Before the uber cool special night of reality television tonight I have to weigh in on my thoughts. First off…who is going home from American Idol? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. There are definitely those who SHOULD go home like Melissa and Kevin but then again there are others like Taylor, Elliott, and a few others who may not connect as well with the teenybopper audience. That said, the horribly flat and atonal Melissa will probably be sent packing. Kevin probably sucks even worse, but because the girls think he is adorable he will stick around. How very annoying and depressing.

Now for the BIG topic of the day…ANTM 6! Last week the girls were chosen from the semifinalists and were asked to pose bald for a beauty shot. I actually thought it was one of the more beautiful settings for a shoot to have ever been on ANTM. Yeah, it was weird, but it also highlighted each of the girls’ strengths and weaknesses. I think it is going to be an interesting season. I’m not sure I’ve come up with a favorite yet, but we’ll see after tonight. In the meantime, gaze upon the beauty (and lack of) in the sampling that follows.

Kari (who looks more than slightly like an alien)

Gina (who lacks any expression other than blandness)

Brooke (who has a strange look but still fascinates me)

Danielle (who looks better than could have possibly expected)

Kathy (who got kicked to the curb–so not model material)

Tune in tonight.

I have posted a pre-season rundown of the contestants on both ANTM4 and ANTM5. Since the sixth season is premiering this Wednesday (March it only seems right that I too would discuss those girls. I would say that my previous ideas about the models were spot-on, but they were still fun. My only real right bit of info was with Keenyah (season 4) whose jaw was simply horrible. I couldn’t stand it and I was pleased when she got kicked to the curb despite the fact it was much too late and after more deserving models.

In any case, America’s Next Top Model 6 is coming…how “in the know” are you?

A texas girl, Brooke is a brown hair and brown eyed “beauty.” I put the word in quotes because I’m not convinced of her talent. She’s tall and thin but her nose and lower part of her face are in strange proportion. I’m not saying she can’t do well, I’m just saying that she’s not interesting enough to be unique and not beautiful enough to be striking. Hopefully her pictures do her more justice than her pre-show portfolio.

This season appears to have a lot of plain-looking girls. It seems that Tyra once again went on a rampage and got a bunch of gals who neatly fall into her idea of beauty. Danielle is among these. She looks vaguely like Keenyah, but without any real thing to make her stand out. In fact, something in her eyes makes her look bitchy. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving anybody who thinks Newlyweds is the best show on television.

This is a girl who desperately needs a makeover. Her look is rather, uh, trashy and her exceedingly thin frame doesn’t help out the situation. She is definitely pretty, but is she outstanding? To add insult to injury the 5′11″ Arkansas native is 24 years old. Methinks that is a tad too old to get started in the industry especially considering her look is rather cookie cutter.

Fans have frequently complained that there are too few Asians on ANTM. The only prior contestant is April (season 2). Gina is a lovely girl with striking skin, a tiny little frame, and generally nice looks. Unfortunately she is also short–5′8″ according to her profile. On the up side, she is probably also intelligent as indicated by her love of the defunct sitcom Frasier. I doubt any of the other contestants have even watched it. My main complaint aside from her height is that her lips are apart in each of her pics which makes it look as though her mouth is never closed.

From what I gather 26 year old Jade has a good deal of modelling experience already. I should hope so–she’s closer to the big 3-0 than the big 2-0. I think her age is definitely going to get in her way. That said, I think she is one of the prettier and more unique girls this season. I’m abivalent about the fro, but I love the bohemian nature of her look. I don’t think she will win, but I think she’ll be around for a while.

Another “older gal,” Joanie is 24. The Pennsylvania native is of modest height (5′9″) but based on her choices for “favorites” may well have a good sense of humor. I also think she is one of the prettier girls of the season unfortunately amongst the Amazons I somehow doubt she will photograph as well at least physically. Facially? She could have this one in the bag. I’m curious how her makeover will go though–I’m betting she’ll be told to go blonder.

The baby of the group, Kari also looks as if she may have some baby fat left in her face. She has the surfer girl look down pat, but to me she just doesn’t look much like a model. It is hard to say when she will be eliminated as I’ve not seen any photos save for her pre-show portfolio, but I just don’t think she’ll stack up against the competition.

Kathy really freaks me out. She looks like a complete bitch…if, of course, there was something such as a “bitchy look.” She looks stiff, bored, unemotional, and generally old. This is really a shame since the fact could be that these are just bad pics. Then again, she’s not very tall either. I think she for one is a girl I’m not going to be particularly interested in–I also think she’ll be kicked aside pretty early in the season.

Arizona native Leslie is gorgeous. Her wide, white smile lights up her face. Her eyes sparkle. She looks like a model should look in my opinion. I for one am convinced that Leslie could be in the running for the title this year assuming her show portfolio is as lovely as this photo (and the other two I’ve seen).

I’ve heard rumblings that 25-year-old Mollie Sue is going to be the most controversial contestant ever on ANTM. This is saying quite a bit, too, folks considering the crazies they’ve had in the past. She professes to have a lot of modelling experience (10 years) and thinks that alone will carry her through the competition. I like her fake red hair, but I suspect come makeover they’ll die it something less auburn and cut it in a more flattering way. Mollie Sue? Pretty, but does she have what it takes?

Nigerian Nnenna is definitely among the most striking contestants this season. I think her look is somewhat similar to that of Danielle and Furonda but what really carries her to the next level are her dark, dark eyes and her chocolatey skin. She is gorgeous. Plus, I’m fascinated by the fact she is a chemist. That’s right, a CHEMIST on ANTM. Who’d have thunk it?

Earlier I spoke about the Amazonians. Sara is definitely the biggest of the bunch. The former college volleyball player is ridiculously tall at 6′1″ (or is it 6′2″). She has a lovely Scandinavian look about her and beautiful bowed lips, but are those things going to carry her through to the end? If nothing else, I suspect Sara will be around a while because of her height–the judges should be drooling.

Wendy is really, honestly not that pretty. I think her look is vaguely interesting and I’m curious if she comes complete with sob story (she is from New Orleans). I’m fine with the odd shape of her nose, but I just don’t think her looks are that striking. Then again maybe I’m missig something major.

In the end, I think that Joanie, Leslie, and Nnenna have the best shot at winning. Then again it could turn out that I’m completely wrong and Gina, Furonda, Kari, and Jade come out on top. Only time will tell!

It’s that time of year again…you know, the time that happens about twice EVERY year. It’s time for ANTM 6! This time around, well, it begins next Wednesday. I’ll have to post my predictions, though they really do mean very little. Between ANTM, Survivor, and American Idol you can bet I’m going to get my fill of reality television. I can only say that I’m really lucky to have TiVo. Otherwise I wouldn’t be watching half of the crap I get to take in now.

Err…yeah…and at the high end there are only three more months until the little guy is born. Names? Well, we’re keeping our ideas secret but we still don’t have one. We’re close, but it’s definitely not engraved in any jewelry yet.

By the way, if you want to experience a gratuitous Friday warm fuzzy, feel free to click this link (and no, it’s not perverted):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-818944862742874918&q=autistic

You may have thought I completely stopped watching America’s Next Top Model. If that’s the case, you are very wrong. I’m still following it closely and biding my time until the finale. The field has now been whittled down to three girls. This week saw Jayla’s elimination while last week saw Kim’s. Truth be told both deserved to be there longer than Bre…but Bre is clearly Tyra’s favorite. It is too bad that she doesn’t get the final say. It seems that others make the final choice.

This last episode shows the girls on the means streets of London. The final four had to do their required seasonal go-sees (which weren’t as emphasized as in past cycles) and found themselves having to specifically focus on Bollywood influenced fashions. The final photoshoot also had to do with this as Nigel Barker’s mother is Sri Lankan and he has a “special interest” in the theme. In any case, I thought the whole thing was a mess. I was particularly perplexed by Jayla’s shoot in which she wasn’t even in the center of the frame unlike her competitors. It was nearly impossible for her to “stand out” like the judges wanted with that kind of awful setup. That said, here are the badly photoshopped (not by me either) photos from UPN.

Bre (The Bonkers):

Jayla (The Eliminated):

Nicole (The China Doll):

Nik (The Fierce?):

By the way, don’t let JT ever tell you he doesn’t watch the show because he does and he enjoys it and he freely discusses the competitors. His favorite was Jayla who he thought was hot. He never thinks girls on TV are hot either.

I actually cooked yesterday. No, it did not involve any boxes or microwaves. It was all meat, potatoes and veggies. Me, Shelly, the queen of zero cooking skills, actually made pot roast! That’s right folks. I touched raw meat, cut up lots of veggies, and brewed the mixture all day long. I was so impressed by my ability to make pot roast that actually smelled and looked like pot roast that I was nearly inspired to cook every single day. Then I thought about it again and realized that my husband already knows how to cook and does it pretty much every day. Why change?

If you’re keeping track and you’re a TV junkie like myself, you know that yesterday was ANTM day. The six remaining girls packed their bags and headed off to London. Alas–I would like to go to London and visit my sis and brother-in-law. I keep on promising I’ll make it. Maybe next year? In any case, the six girls were forced to endure the paparazzi in staged ANTM fashion. I guess it was the theme of the night.

They had to shoot their photos topless and just wearing undies and galoshes with a tabloid covering their boobies. All six girls had to be wedged into the phone booth at once. They complained of B.O. and farting. It was pretty much hilarious. This is such a catty group. Some of them think they are above the cattiness, but it seems as if they are all princesses who like to get their own way. It makes for some really interesting television.

In the end, Tyra was left with Lisa and Jayla in front of her. Who was going home? JT astutely pointed out (because he watches too–don’t let him tell you otherwise) that Lisa does not look like a cover girl. Plus, he’s always thought Jayla was hot. I agreed. Lisa is the only one of the remaining six that didn’t have the clean, natural, simple, cover girl look that Tyra is looking for. I predicted Jayla would go home despite this fact. Surprise, surprise, Lisa had to pack her Hawaiian printed suitcase and head home. Poor baby.

Bre: The Best (?)

Jayla: The Worst

Lisa: The Eliminated

Last night was the weekly ANTM festival. It makes me feel like such a nerd. There were a few different “happenings” during the show. First, the girls were charged with being the head of their own entourage. They had to direct the artists how to do their makeup and how to dress them at the same time somebody else was working on a poster board presentation. After it was all said and done, they had to present the product to some VIPs in an attempt to land a guest spot on Veronica Mars. Kim rightfully won.

Soon thereafter it was time for the required photoshoot. This time around it was an action shot with the girls having to face off against the Wild Boyz (yes, the MTV freaks). The basic idea was that the guys had done something to make each of the girls angry. Each shot was a different setup and each girl was to have a similar reaction. The guys wore dresses, women’s underwear, and jumped into pools. It was all good. The funniest things were that Bre was terrified of them, Steve-O was in love with Nicole, and Steve-O was jumping up and down behind Nik in her shot in a pink dress. Each time he did so his junk was flapping about. It was funny stuff.

When the show wrapped, Tyra announced that Nicole and Jayla were in the bottom two. The girls were tearing up as Tyra told them both to pack their bags. The hugs began and then Tyra contined “…because you’re all going to London!” I think it was the single meanest prank ANTM has ever played on anybody.

Jayla (The Worst Shot) - Tyra said she looked like a blow up doll (I think she does, specifically like the Kimber doll on Nip/Tuck)

Kim (The Best Shot)

Bre (Scared out of her gourd)

Thank you, Andrew, for your offers to do away with my little terrorist. He is a beast in furry, fluffy kitty clothing. However we have come up with a solution to our strife! Dewey is now behaving himself because we threaten him nightly with the water bottle. It sits on our headboard staring him down. He rarely challenges it. Even better? He even is thinking twice about pawing us for attention. Last night, he was sitting next to JT looking for loving. He extended his paw shakily, Jeremy looked at him, and he backed down and put the paw back on the floor.

We have trained our little terrorist for the moment. He is once again king-kitty.

Last night was an evening of ANTM 5. I’m such a sucker for that show. There are plenty of fireworks this season with clashing personalities, egos, and morals. It’s all incredibly interesting. I love watching a good cat fight. Last night saw one of the gals eliminated. Coryn got the boot for looking and behaving “sad.” Her pics were consistently gorgeous, but I guess that’s not enough.

Anyway, here are a few photos:

Nicole (The Adorable):

Bre (The Bored):

Coryn (The Eliminated):

Today is ANTM day. You can’t possibly have forgotten already! I mean, it is season 5 and the girls have already brought drama in the form of hair cutting, crying, pouting, whining, and lesbian lust. It’s all good in the ANTM 5 house. Last week was a good time as always. The girls got their makeovers and got assigned new personalities. Ms. pageant princess Cassandra had the biggest makeover meltdown in America’s Next Top Model history. She went from having long brown locks to having short blonde ones. I’ve never seen such a fit over nothing. I mean come on folks–listen to Jay. Hair grows back.

Following that fun, the girls also had a lovely high fashion photo shoot (a rarity on ANTM). Prior to tonight’s show I figured I’d show the best, worst, and eliminated girl’s pictures. Oh yes, and how could I forget Cassandra’s hilarious freak out session.

Cassandra (with Sarah) before:

Cassandra after (and she does look much more striking):

Best Photo (Nik):

Worst Photo (Diane who looks like a middle-aged school marm):

Elminated Girl (Ebony):

Mother Nature is on a rampage. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about. It seems that we’ve finally pissed her off enough for her to seek revenge. I’m so happy to live in a place where hurricanes are impossible. Tornados, thunderstorms, and the like are pretty common unfortunately and there is the likelihood someday that the melting of the polar caps will lead my whole state to flood but that’s another matter entirely. I wish luck and happiness to everybody in Rita’s line of fire. I’m crossing my fingers that we don’t have another Katrina (or for that matter Galveston) on our hands…but things aren’t looking too good.

In more exciting news, television has gotten a lot more entertaining. The shows are ridiculous. There are umpteen new “supernatural thrillers” of which we’re probably only going to watch one or two (Threshold and Surface come to mind immediately). House has returned (which makes me giddy with joy), Survivor is on, and America’s Next Top Model 5 has axed their first girl. All is well and good in the world. I am however slightly annoyed that ANTM would dress these chicks up as superheroes. The pics turned out well but it was a hackneyed idea.

I won’t start to really go off on ANTM yet but someday you’ll once again feel my addiction. My hubby is already painfully aware of it. At least I don’t collect stupid things like magazine clippings and autographs. I just like watching.

America’s Next Top Model 5 (aka ANTM) is heading to a UPN affiliate near you
on September 21 at 8pm. It’s going to run two hours and will (as always) show
some of the rejected girls in addition to introducing the thirteen real gals
who will move into the digs in Los Angeles.

I am indeed addicted to ANTM and have been since the second cycle. I like
watching it and realize it’s completely stupid and incredibly vain television.
With that said, the catty girls are always good entertainment and I do enjoy
the whole fashion aspect of the show. Tyra irks the living hell out of me as
she is incredibly domineering and may as well be called the queen of the show.
Janice is gone this year (she’s been replaced by Twiggy), so that entertainment
is absent. I’m still going to like it–even if Tyra insists on calling the
show very “bling” this year. Oh how I hate slang.

Without any further stalling, I bring to you the thirteen princesses who will
vie for the title of America’s Next Top Model 5 and follow in the footsteps
of Adrianne, Yoanna, Eva, and Naima.

Ashley hails from Ft. Lauderdale (Florida) and was once a fat girl at least by her standards and fashion requirements. She’s now slimmed down and at 5′8″ thinks she will be ANTM. I’m personally unsold on her beauty. She’s got a strong jaw and nice skin tone, but I feel she’s a bit generic. I am curious what ANTM will decide to do with her looks during makeover (if she makes it that far).

Bre looks like a tiny little china doll. Her smile is refreshing and her features are lovely. However, once again I’m struck that she’s nothing special. Plus, at just 5′8″ she falls well short of fashion requirements. I guess ANTM doesn’t care about such matters. The Harlem, New York native lists the crappy film Thirteen as her favorite. We’ll see if she tries to hard to be cool on the show too.

I always find the combination of dark hair, fair skin, and light eyes to be striking. Cassandra (from Houston, Texas) fits that bill. She’s a student who is proud of her home state (does that mean she is also a raging republican?) and who lists cookies as one of her favorite foods. While Cassandra is gorgeous, I don’t think she’ll go far. The girl is short (5′7″).

Could Coryn be a wild card? Her looks are clearly unconventional. Her face is long, her eyebrows are awful, her lips are disproportionate. With that said, some of the strangest looking girls take some of the most incredible photos in the long run. Coryn is a retail clerk from Minneapolis. She’s 5′9″ which is slightly more appropriate than the short girls as far as competition goes.

After Tyra said specifically she wasn’t going to have any more plus sized girls alone on a show, she goes and gets Diane. Okay. Whatever. She is the tallest of the girls at 5′11″ which is a good thing. The bad thing is that the Orlando native is obviously “plus sized” but probably actually falls between the two poles. Her limbo status will easily stop her from going far. Even more troubling is that her face is not nice to look at. Her jaw is too thin and her forehead too low.

Ebony is a baby of the group. She’s just 18 years old and hails from California. Physically, I can see why she was chosen. Unfortunately, her poloroid was tragic and the fact that she apparently “looks best in profile” is troublesome. I also am slightly pained to see that flower she wears in her hair. At least Tatiana was from Hawaii. I’m ambivalently turned off by Ebony.

Jayla, least by looks, is the wild child of this bunch. She’s got tattoos and wears expanders in her ears. However, she is also gorgeous with the dark hair and light eyes again. I’m pleased to see Ghost in the Shell listed as her favorite movie (girl is obviously somewhat a nerd) but am slightly turned off by her height (5′8″). She is from Tuscon, Arizona.

Her pouty lips, expressive eyes, and fabulous legs will get this short-haired gal from New York City far in this competition. She is rockin’ the faux-hawk (for better or worse). Kim thinks that she’s smarter than the other girls which will work to her advantage. However, I still question her height. This season the girls are short–Kim fits right in.

The blonde haired, brown eyed Kyle hails from Dexter, Michigan which is roughly 20 miles from where I’m currently sitting. Her videos portray her as something as a spoiled little rich girl . With that said, she is pretty and at 5′10″ one of the better suited girls. I’m curious how far she will get–probably far enough to see the shores of London (where the group will go toward the end of the show).

While Lisa’s look is by no means usual, I like her. She’s got a spark in her eyes and a unique style which should work well for her in the long run. She looks like the all-American girl–something which I think the show needs to embrace because of its connection to Cover Girl. Unfortunately she’s 24 years old and only 5′8.” She lists Ladies’ Home Journal as her favorite mag and chick flick Corrina, Corrina as her favorite movie. Bah.

Along-side Bre, Nicole is the second china doll of the group. She is so delicate and angelic–could she be too young (18) and innocent to hold up to the rigors of competition? That remains to be seen, but the 5′9″ North Dakota native should bring the Amanda-factor to the competition. We’ll see. Lastly, she lists shrimp as her favorite food. I like shrimp.

I actually like Nik a great deal more than many of the other girls based solely on looks. Her hair will be changed (because that’s what makeovers are for) but her eyes are what really draw me in. She is also short (like soooo many of the girls) But I think based on her somewhat unique face she will go further than a good handful of the rest of the forgettable blobs.

Firmly in the “why the HELL did they pick her” camp, Sarah is awful. Sure she has the whole blonde-hair, blue-eye thing down but her pictures also portray her as having bad posture and way too broad shoulders. I suspect she will be kicked aside early in the competition. The judges won’t stand for her lack of emotion or creativity.

Last night the power went out around 4:45pm. It stayed off for over two hours. Of course since the BIG power outage of 2003 such things may seem trivial, but at the same time I still get excited over these matters. It’s as if I’m an elementary student and the lack of power may result in no school. Or something. I dunno. In any case, JT and I had to eat a Big Boy. It was fine, but I much prefer a slightly less chaotic atmosphere. Screaming kids, staring old people, and loitering teens are not my idea of a great time.

And then I realized it was ANTM night. I hoped, prayed (and as ya’ll know I’m not a religious person), crossed my fingers that the power would restore before 8pm rolled around. I couldn’t miss the finale of the fourth season of ANTM! Gosh! That would be a real travesty. Fortunately it came back around 7pm and all was well in my miniscule world.

Of course, the show was down to three. There was the snotty, weird jaw girl Keenyah. There was the downhome, bashful girl Kahlen. There was the Detroit native and somewhat emotionally stifled Naima. I personally was rooting for Kahlen, but I still had some interest in Naima. I mean, Detroit folks (and Michigan folks in general) never make it far on reality television. Remember Michael Skupin on Survivor 2? You know–the one that fell in the fire and had to be helicoptered out, well he’s from White Lake in Metro Detroit and just a few miles from my home. Oh yes, and Bachelor Bob Guiney was also from the Detroit area (Ferndale, aka Fashionable Ferndale). I can’t help but root on the underdog.

So anyway, the trials of last night were as expected. The first competition and elimination centered on a Cover Girl commercial and print ad. Tyra had nothing but good to say about her three little proteges. Even Keenyah, with her obtrustive shoulder and fakeness garnered acclaim. Somehow Tyra failed to notice that Keenyah wasn’t going to make an effort to lose the weight (not that she is fat, but at somewhere over 140lbs at 5′11″ she isn’t exactly model size). Kahlen looked quirky and odd and very uncomfortable in her commercial. Her picture turned out lovely though. Naima worked her tail off and despite the fact that the people at Cover Girl peeled her forehead mole off in photoshopping she still looked lovely.

First elimination? Buh-bye Keenyah. Hasta la vista. Sayanora.

The next big thing was a runway show. It was lovely to see them strut their stuff (as un-curved and adolescent boy-like as it is) on a real runway. Kahlen looked great–I thought for sure after that she would win. Heck, if you saw the show she got stuck with an incredibly revealing swimsuit. I couldn’t believe they didn’t blur her crotch. Naima did well also, but she didn’t “own” as Tyra over and over again stated.

In the end, it was Naima who won over Kahlen. No big shocker there I suppose. I can’t complain about a victorious Michigan ANTM.

So, when is Season 5 starting?